I'm starting to feel like we've been called to capture the actions of giants. To use an analogy in our training materials: I feel bit like a mouse in a ring with elephants. And getting squished is a real possibility.
The more I learn about India, the more I meet giant men of God who have been faithfully obeying the Lord for years. Men who have received big visions from God. Men who are putting everything on the line.
I've been frustrated with my inability to cast the vision of what God is doing in India. I just don't know where to begin. It always seems like my mind goes to the small individual stories.
Here's one story on Newsong Live, from one of the giants I mentioned.
The Journey Continues "A Cry..."
A Cry…
I almost brushed “Sonja”, not quite touched, as I leaned over to get water from the kitchen sink, in Hyderabad India. The servant girl “Sonja” pulled back with perfuse apologies and stretched her hand toward me and then putting it to her bowed head in utter submission time and time again. I did not speak her language yet it was unmistakably clear she was seeking forgiveness and acknowledging submission and accepting my superiority.
I was embarrassed, shocked and taken aback. I did not know how to respond especially when nothing wrong was done. Even if there had been a mistake it was a shocking response. I was visibly surprised and quickly I sought privacy in my room to get a handle on it. Why was this normal hardworking young woman so distraught by the possibility of a slight brush of another human?
I was daunted that ‘Sonja’ was conditioned in her social and belief system that she is not equal but less of other humans in her world. I remember Sunil Sardar explaining that, Hinduism as taught by the Brahmins and believed by the vast population that the few were created from the head to rule and the others from shoulders, side and the leg or the foot to be servants and untouchable. They believe Brahmins are higher cast being created from the head, rest are to slavery of the mind to believe in their fate.
Latter that week David Lall from the Madhya Pradesh, India, in a meeting was relating to us the terror of a woman from one village who was forced to sleep with the Hindu priest, a spiritual leader before she would be allowed to be married in his village. He said the lower caste woman submits without resistance regularly and they take the place without question because of the Cast slavery in India. Even though this practice is outlawed and illegal, no protection of any kind is provided and hence the practice goes on even now.
I was so incensed and visibly upset that I had to excuse myself to get it together before I returned. I wondered how could we be talking about it so matter of factly? Is there any ounce of outrage left for justice and human dignity in us any longer? I could not sleep that night. Sorrow engulfed my soul and anger and rage within me began to build as I imagined what would I have done if this girl were my own precious, fragile and beautiful daughter?
I could not contain myself and I cried and sobbed like there was no end, and asked God to help me in any way to bring His freedom to these 850 million backward caste caught up in the cross road of slavery and awful abuse. It was not easy to own up to this about my own country. I with intense grief questioned how could I be so free while so many of my innocent brothers and sisters were being raped by these ruthless religious hooligans.
I keep asking why me? I am not ready for a task so impossible and I don’t trust myself to keep my cool, if I am ever to encounter face to face such gross prejudice and human indignity. I know the afflictions of these people have taken apiece right out of my heart for sure. I can’t wipe them out of my mind, and my soul is perpetually heavy. I am for the first time beginning to grasp why my master has been called ‘a man of sorrow’. He is showing me the plane delays, discomfort of flying long distance, jetlags, being alone at times and mosquitoes, are nothing in comparison to people’s suffering in their abject poverty and cruel discrimination.
Ecclesiastes 7:4
“The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of merrymaking.” This is a heard lesson for me to learn that I must seek to be connected with suffering Indian people and not disengage or mask the grief of their pain. It is my prayer that, I rather have my heart in the house of morning with those who weep than be elsewhere.
Lot of questions: How will my family deal with the call of this intensity and magnitude? Will the churches see this as a call or be lost in its own agenda? Will friends see this as hype or a heartfelt cry of the people in slavery for help? Will people abandon us because this is too out there for their comfort? Will the free world respond with compassion? Will there be coming together or splitting apart on this call...? I don’t know about you but as for me please pray that I will do as “He will” and will not excuse myself...
Hopefully a faithful seeker,
Jaipaul
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